To Rewrite or Not...

That is the question...

I was reading through Freeborn and Freegiven the other day, editing typos and the like as I went, and occasionally changing the wording of something, or editing dialogue. And as I got deeper, and started to pay more attention, I realized there was a great deal lacking in the depth of prose I was using. In other words, it was too conversational. Even though I had avoided using boring words like "big" and kept away from run-on "then"'s, it was still severely lacking. This was a problem I had fixed on Feather and Fang during the last year, but I had written far less in that, and was still playing with the plot, so things were still in flux. To fix Freeborn would require a major overhaul. Not to mention there are still several plotholes and unoriginal situations that need attention.
So the question I am faced with is: "Do I edit, or rewrite?" Do I just keep on fixing what I have, or do I start over again, using the first as the skeleton to build on rather than the skin to reform?
One of my best friends and fellow writers has rewritten nearly every one of his major story ideas at least once or twice. I have seen him go through five iterations of a single plot idea, each different from the previous, until all that showed up in the final from the first was the premise. Characters changed, locations changed, plot arcs changed, climax and conclusion changed. And it was worth it. The final drafts are so much better than the first, though you couldn't have known that when you read the first.

So... should I rewrite? I honestly don't know yet. I am leaning more in that direction, since I had moderate success in rewriting Grey Warrior. (As much as could be expected with no plot line). My writing has improved greatly since then (as is obvious when comparing Freeborn and Trust Hole), and I have a solid plot, with several important additions I would be making if I was going to simply edit it.

What do ya'll think? Have you ever rewritten something completely? Or do you find extensive editing to be more up your alley? Leave a comment if you want to share, or hold a conversation with yourself! (It's helpful sometimes :) )

A yet undecided, Farjag

The Promise

Promise

Snowflakes softly fell
The night sky dark and cold
In Bethlehem all seems well
The wind is quiet and lulled

A tiny stable carved into the hill
The home of cows and sheep
A tiny baby lies quiet and still
Let the animals their silence keep

Upon the hills gathered round
Shepereds keep silent watch
Flocks of sheep dot the ground
Stars across the sky march

Then light came springing out
Beams of radiance shining forth
The sky splits open with a shout
Heaven beyond in all it's worth

Angels line the clouds
A choir of awesome majesty
Their holy voices raised aloud
Heaven's glorious pageantry

"A Savior has been born this night
A child of men born today
God Himself bringing light
Oh, tidings of comfort and joy!"

The Promise fulfilled
The Messiah on earth
Just as God had willed
Tonight is the Savior's birth

A question

Here's a question to those who read this blog (The few and proud!): What should I post about? What would you like to see me write about?

Whatever I write here, I want to be able to point it back to God, but I need something to write about first. And how to/how not to write posts get old real quick.

So any ideas? Leave a comment!

The Heart War

Inspired by Sunday's message...

The Heart War

Upon a battlefield colored red
Much blood has yet to be shed
The power of the enemy was broken long ago
But he continues to fight, a present and powerful foe

The heart is this battlefield red
Sin our enemy, not yet dead
Set free from that power in Christ's death
We must battle on until life's last breath

For how can we who died to sin
Still lie subject to it's evil grip within?
The law of Christ has set us free
Let us fight, can you not see?

The battle's already won
The victory's been done
The sword of the word, doubled edged and sharp
Is more powerful than any enemy's poisoned dart

Sin lies at our door, quite near at hand
And it's desire is for our embattled heartland
Stand strong you Christians bold!
The Holy Spirit has wrapped us in His fold

Walk in His power and might
He protects us from the dark of night
Sin has been thrown down
Won is the heart's sacred ground

Really Short Sentences.

There are many literary techniques I have discovered through my reading and writing, and one I've put into use from time to time is really. short. sentences. For example:

A sudden impulse made him stand. If he could catch the robber in the act… He dashed silently forward, across the open space between him and the opposite ticket booth, slowing to a walk as he neared the oblivious criminal. His hand reached for his boot knife. Three steps closer.
The robber was pulling out money now, stuffing wads of cash into a business satchel that sat on the edge of the counter next to him.
Four steps closer. Alen could hear him breathing heavily, and letting out an occasional whispered curse. Blood stained the glass around the jagged edge, the robber must have mishit the speaker hole and cut his wrist on the glass as it shattered. Two steps closer.
The criminal stopped for a moment. Alen held his breath. Another whispered curse, and he continued stuffing cash in.

The short sentences give a tension and dangerous brevity to the whole affair, don't they? Now the whole portion isn't short sentences, so the reader has time to catch their breath between each sentence hit. To pull up another oft-used example of mine; writing duels. Which sounds better?

Farjag turned and swept up his sword in a diagonal arc, crossing over as he did so to bring it smashing back down without a second's pause. His opponent's blade met his in a direct parry as it did so, and he pushed both swords forward, the point of his blade coming dangerously near Farjag's face before he could execute his signature right spin and come up under his opponent's guard with a half-sword stab.

Farjag slashed at his opponent, smashing at the other's defenses with each stroke. Farjag stabbed, the enemy parried. When the enemy finally caught his blade, he spun and ducked under to stab at his unprotected side.

Which sounds better? The sentences are shorter in the second one, there are no pauses to describe complex sword patterns, and there is a much deeper sense of danger and raw power (At least in my opinion :) ). The first one gets bogged down as soon it dives into each individual movement of the swords.

Anyways, you heard all that already from me last post! :P Pet peeve, I guess. But, to return, I often use short sentences at the end of a chapter, to heighten the sense of suspense and give the reader something to remember easily until they read the next one. 

The entire arena hushed for a moment, and Alen felt a sudden grip of fear around his heart. Someone was going to die tonight. And it would all be in good sport.

And with that, I end.

Until next time, 

Farjag

Moving On

Have you ever had that moment when in your writing when you finish off one scene, and start the build up to the next? When the traveling, or sleeping, or exposition seems infinitely boring? I know I do. I don't know how many times when I was writing Trust Hole that I finished off some epic match in half an hour, and then spent another hour just struggling through the couple of paragraphs between it and the next major event.
But as I continued to write, I realized something. Maybe none of that in-between isn't all that necessary.
Now, here is what I am NOT saying. DO NOT skip from action sequence to action sequence just because all the middle stuff is plain boring. That does not make a good story. Every tale needs it's quiet moments as well as it's loud moments, it's low times as well as it's high times, it's lulls as well as it's peaks. Some of my favorite scenes to write in Trust Hole were actually the ones with just dialogue, where Alen and Martin, or Mirra, or Brian, or Watson broke out of my mind and started finding their voices.
What I'm talking about is the piddly stuff. The meals, and sleeping, and traveling long distances, and gathering of armies, etc. Where the logistics and practicality of it all drags you down until you're left drowning in the sea of your own boredom. THAT is the stuff it is ok to skip.
But how you do it is just as important as when you do it. For example, let us take my main characters from Feather and Fang: Redpaw, Crestlen, and Daegless. The first two are traveling together, and Daegless is in another part of Quartorlen entirely. Now, a lot of traveling is involved, and the repeated: "Several days later," becomes just as boring as if you had actually described each non-eventful day. So, here's my brilliant idea. Those times are the perfect time to cut to the other group! Leave Redpaw and Crestlen to do their mindless trudging, and go catch up with Daegless, who we left burning some random village. Now he's a week ahead, and there's a trail of destruction behind him. Notice the difference:

Daegless continued his savage path for a week, sowing death and destruction wherever he went. Villages were burned, fields were trampled, and chaos spread throughout Thunderfell. Ahead lay Flamehope, and the untainted land there.

Daegless stood on a hill, overlooking Flamehope. Behind him, a wide swath of black stretched to the north horizon, the smoke of dozens of burning fields and villages marking his trail of death and destruction. Chaos had come to Thunderfell, and now it was poised to strike Flamehope.

Which do you think sounds better? Personally, I like the second one. It strikes deeper into the imagination, leaving the reader to come up with his own atrocities and evil deeds, rather than minutely explaining each one.
As another example, consider the use of skilled swordplay in a battle. A fencer and broadswordsman (I don't think that's a word :P) myself, I appreciate and can understand many of the moves, strokes and parries an author puts in his swordfights. The main problem with this is that it breaks up the intensity and overall feel of the fight. It's hard to feel scared for the main character as he executes a complex maneuver you have to go back and read twice over to get before you can understand what's going on. You get back to the fight, only half as caught up in it as you were before. The same with the piddly stuff. It's hard to stay involved in the desperate nature of the quest or time when you're plodding through the daily rattle of unimportant events.
With that being said, another way of cutting down on piddly in-between stuff is to cut the scene before it's 'done.' One of the pep talks for NaNoWriMo talked about "ending the scene before they walk out the door." Don't put in the character exits, and hallway walks back to their rooms, and getting in bed, and sleeping, and waking up, and coffee, and breakfast... ad nauseam. Just cut, and open back up right in the thick of things the next day.
This is especially helpful when your outline leaves a gap between major scenes, and you've been telling yourself all along that you'll fill it with traveling, minor events, etc. It won't cut it. Trust me, I've tried. Case in point, Trust Hole. The center of the book, as outline in my head, was to be filled with training for Alen, character development, etc. But when I got there, I realized all that didn't matter. So I went right on with the story, bringing in the new bots and all the changes that came with them. No need for filler material. No need for detailed explaining of technology (or magic), or habits of dragons, or meditation is part of your training, or how a pulse cannon works, or how the politics of dwarves run. BORING. (:P I'm poking fun at the Inheritance Series among other things for anyone who didn't get it)

Move the story along, and your pace will thank you. As well as all your readers. And hey, if too much is happening... it's easy to add in some quieter stuff!

Hoping my rant was insightful to you, (it was for me! :P)
Farjag