Inspired by Sunday's message...
The Heart War
Upon a battlefield colored red
Much blood has yet to be shed
The power of the enemy was broken long ago
But he continues to fight, a present and powerful foe
The heart is this battlefield red
Sin our enemy, not yet dead
Set free from that power in Christ's death
We must battle on until life's last breath
For how can we who died to sin
Still lie subject to it's evil grip within?
The law of Christ has set us free
Let us fight, can you not see?
The battle's already won
The victory's been done
The sword of the word, doubled edged and sharp
Is more powerful than any enemy's poisoned dart
Sin lies at our door, quite near at hand
And it's desire is for our embattled heartland
Stand strong you Christians bold!
The Holy Spirit has wrapped us in His fold
Walk in His power and might
He protects us from the dark of night
Sin has been thrown down
Won is the heart's sacred ground
January 6, 2012
January 4, 2012
Really Short Sentences.
There are many literary techniques I have discovered through my reading and writing, and one I've put into use from time to time is really. short. sentences. For example:
A sudden impulse made him stand. If he could catch the robber in the act… He dashed silently forward, across the open space between him and the opposite ticket booth, slowing to a walk as he neared the oblivious criminal. His hand reached for his boot knife. Three steps closer.
The robber was pulling out money now, stuffing wads of cash into a business satchel that sat on the edge of the counter next to him.
Four steps closer. Alen could hear him breathing heavily, and letting out an occasional whispered curse. Blood stained the glass around the jagged edge, the robber must have mishit the speaker hole and cut his wrist on the glass as it shattered. Two steps closer.
The criminal stopped for a moment. Alen held his breath. Another whispered curse, and he continued stuffing cash in.
The entire arena hushed for a moment, and Alen felt a sudden grip of fear around his heart. Someone was going to die tonight. And it would all be in good sport.
A sudden impulse made him stand. If he could catch the robber in the act… He dashed silently forward, across the open space between him and the opposite ticket booth, slowing to a walk as he neared the oblivious criminal. His hand reached for his boot knife. Three steps closer.
The robber was pulling out money now, stuffing wads of cash into a business satchel that sat on the edge of the counter next to him.
Four steps closer. Alen could hear him breathing heavily, and letting out an occasional whispered curse. Blood stained the glass around the jagged edge, the robber must have mishit the speaker hole and cut his wrist on the glass as it shattered. Two steps closer.
The criminal stopped for a moment. Alen held his breath. Another whispered curse, and he continued stuffing cash in.
The short sentences give a tension and dangerous brevity to the whole affair, don't they? Now the whole portion isn't short sentences, so the reader has time to catch their breath between each sentence hit. To pull up another oft-used example of mine; writing duels. Which sounds better?
Farjag turned and swept up his sword in a diagonal arc, crossing over as he did so to bring it smashing back down without a second's pause. His opponent's blade met his in a direct parry as it did so, and he pushed both swords forward, the point of his blade coming dangerously near Farjag's face before he could execute his signature right spin and come up under his opponent's guard with a half-sword stab.
Farjag slashed at his opponent, smashing at the other's defenses with each stroke. Farjag stabbed, the enemy parried. When the enemy finally caught his blade, he spun and ducked under to stab at his unprotected side.
Which sounds better? The sentences are shorter in the second one, there are no pauses to describe complex sword patterns, and there is a much deeper sense of danger and raw power (At least in my opinion :) ). The first one gets bogged down as soon it dives into each individual movement of the swords.
Anyways, you heard all that already from me last post! :P Pet peeve, I guess. But, to return, I often use short sentences at the end of a chapter, to heighten the sense of suspense and give the reader something to remember easily until they read the next one.
And with that, I end.
Until next time,
Farjag
January 2, 2012
Moving On
Have you ever had that moment when in your writing when you finish off one scene, and start the build up to the next? When the traveling, or sleeping, or exposition seems infinitely boring? I know I do. I don't know how many times when I was writing Trust Hole that I finished off some epic match in half an hour, and then spent another hour just struggling through the couple of paragraphs between it and the next major event.
But as I continued to write, I realized something. Maybe none of that in-between isn't all that necessary.
Now, here is what I am NOT saying. DO NOT skip from action sequence to action sequence just because all the middle stuff is plain boring. That does not make a good story. Every tale needs it's quiet moments as well as it's loud moments, it's low times as well as it's high times, it's lulls as well as it's peaks. Some of my favorite scenes to write in Trust Hole were actually the ones with just dialogue, where Alen and Martin, or Mirra, or Brian, or Watson broke out of my mind and started finding their voices.
What I'm talking about is the piddly stuff. The meals, and sleeping, and traveling long distances, and gathering of armies, etc. Where the logistics and practicality of it all drags you down until you're left drowning in the sea of your own boredom. THAT is the stuff it is ok to skip.
But how you do it is just as important as when you do it. For example, let us take my main characters from Feather and Fang: Redpaw, Crestlen, and Daegless. The first two are traveling together, and Daegless is in another part of Quartorlen entirely. Now, a lot of traveling is involved, and the repeated: "Several days later," becomes just as boring as if you had actually described each non-eventful day. So, here's my brilliant idea. Those times are the perfect time to cut to the other group! Leave Redpaw and Crestlen to do their mindless trudging, and go catch up with Daegless, who we left burning some random village. Now he's a week ahead, and there's a trail of destruction behind him. Notice the difference:
Daegless continued his savage path for a week, sowing death and destruction wherever he went. Villages were burned, fields were trampled, and chaos spread throughout Thunderfell. Ahead lay Flamehope, and the untainted land there.
Daegless stood on a hill, overlooking Flamehope. Behind him, a wide swath of black stretched to the north horizon, the smoke of dozens of burning fields and villages marking his trail of death and destruction. Chaos had come to Thunderfell, and now it was poised to strike Flamehope.
Which do you think sounds better? Personally, I like the second one. It strikes deeper into the imagination, leaving the reader to come up with his own atrocities and evil deeds, rather than minutely explaining each one.
As another example, consider the use of skilled swordplay in a battle. A fencer and broadswordsman (I don't think that's a word :P) myself, I appreciate and can understand many of the moves, strokes and parries an author puts in his swordfights. The main problem with this is that it breaks up the intensity and overall feel of the fight. It's hard to feel scared for the main character as he executes a complex maneuver you have to go back and read twice over to get before you can understand what's going on. You get back to the fight, only half as caught up in it as you were before. The same with the piddly stuff. It's hard to stay involved in the desperate nature of the quest or time when you're plodding through the daily rattle of unimportant events.
With that being said, another way of cutting down on piddly in-between stuff is to cut the scene before it's 'done.' One of the pep talks for NaNoWriMo talked about "ending the scene before they walk out the door." Don't put in the character exits, and hallway walks back to their rooms, and getting in bed, and sleeping, and waking up, and coffee, and breakfast... ad nauseam. Just cut, and open back up right in the thick of things the next day.
This is especially helpful when your outline leaves a gap between major scenes, and you've been telling yourself all along that you'll fill it with traveling, minor events, etc. It won't cut it. Trust me, I've tried. Case in point, Trust Hole. The center of the book, as outline in my head, was to be filled with training for Alen, character development, etc. But when I got there, I realized all that didn't matter. So I went right on with the story, bringing in the new bots and all the changes that came with them. No need for filler material. No need for detailed explaining of technology (or magic), or habits of dragons, or meditation is part of your training, or how a pulse cannon works, or how the politics of dwarves run. BORING. (:P I'm poking fun at the Inheritance Series among other things for anyone who didn't get it)
Move the story along, and your pace will thank you. As well as all your readers. And hey, if too much is happening... it's easy to add in some quieter stuff!
Hoping my rant was insightful to you, (it was for me! :P)
Farjag
But as I continued to write, I realized something. Maybe none of that in-between isn't all that necessary.
Now, here is what I am NOT saying. DO NOT skip from action sequence to action sequence just because all the middle stuff is plain boring. That does not make a good story. Every tale needs it's quiet moments as well as it's loud moments, it's low times as well as it's high times, it's lulls as well as it's peaks. Some of my favorite scenes to write in Trust Hole were actually the ones with just dialogue, where Alen and Martin, or Mirra, or Brian, or Watson broke out of my mind and started finding their voices.
What I'm talking about is the piddly stuff. The meals, and sleeping, and traveling long distances, and gathering of armies, etc. Where the logistics and practicality of it all drags you down until you're left drowning in the sea of your own boredom. THAT is the stuff it is ok to skip.
But how you do it is just as important as when you do it. For example, let us take my main characters from Feather and Fang: Redpaw, Crestlen, and Daegless. The first two are traveling together, and Daegless is in another part of Quartorlen entirely. Now, a lot of traveling is involved, and the repeated: "Several days later," becomes just as boring as if you had actually described each non-eventful day. So, here's my brilliant idea. Those times are the perfect time to cut to the other group! Leave Redpaw and Crestlen to do their mindless trudging, and go catch up with Daegless, who we left burning some random village. Now he's a week ahead, and there's a trail of destruction behind him. Notice the difference:
Daegless continued his savage path for a week, sowing death and destruction wherever he went. Villages were burned, fields were trampled, and chaos spread throughout Thunderfell. Ahead lay Flamehope, and the untainted land there.
Daegless stood on a hill, overlooking Flamehope. Behind him, a wide swath of black stretched to the north horizon, the smoke of dozens of burning fields and villages marking his trail of death and destruction. Chaos had come to Thunderfell, and now it was poised to strike Flamehope.
Which do you think sounds better? Personally, I like the second one. It strikes deeper into the imagination, leaving the reader to come up with his own atrocities and evil deeds, rather than minutely explaining each one.
As another example, consider the use of skilled swordplay in a battle. A fencer and broadswordsman (I don't think that's a word :P) myself, I appreciate and can understand many of the moves, strokes and parries an author puts in his swordfights. The main problem with this is that it breaks up the intensity and overall feel of the fight. It's hard to feel scared for the main character as he executes a complex maneuver you have to go back and read twice over to get before you can understand what's going on. You get back to the fight, only half as caught up in it as you were before. The same with the piddly stuff. It's hard to stay involved in the desperate nature of the quest or time when you're plodding through the daily rattle of unimportant events.
With that being said, another way of cutting down on piddly in-between stuff is to cut the scene before it's 'done.' One of the pep talks for NaNoWriMo talked about "ending the scene before they walk out the door." Don't put in the character exits, and hallway walks back to their rooms, and getting in bed, and sleeping, and waking up, and coffee, and breakfast... ad nauseam. Just cut, and open back up right in the thick of things the next day.
This is especially helpful when your outline leaves a gap between major scenes, and you've been telling yourself all along that you'll fill it with traveling, minor events, etc. It won't cut it. Trust me, I've tried. Case in point, Trust Hole. The center of the book, as outline in my head, was to be filled with training for Alen, character development, etc. But when I got there, I realized all that didn't matter. So I went right on with the story, bringing in the new bots and all the changes that came with them. No need for filler material. No need for detailed explaining of technology (or magic), or habits of dragons, or meditation is part of your training, or how a pulse cannon works, or how the politics of dwarves run. BORING. (:P I'm poking fun at the Inheritance Series among other things for anyone who didn't get it)
Move the story along, and your pace will thank you. As well as all your readers. And hey, if too much is happening... it's easy to add in some quieter stuff!
Hoping my rant was insightful to you, (it was for me! :P)
Farjag
December 30, 2011
Archer of Sherwood
Archer of Sherwood
Sunset on Nottingham
Light glimmers through the trees
The birds start their singing
All seems well at peace
But in this quaint little town
Evil festers deep
Leaders spin their dire plots
Darkness enshrouds sheriff's keep
Countryfolk kept in fear
Taxes bearing down
Henchmen on the prowl
Deep despair engulfs the town
But a few bowshots away
Sherwood forest looms golden-green
And within it shady glades
Freedom can finally be seen
Outlaw band dwells therein
Merry men one and all
At their head a archer bold
Fearless sounds his horn call!
Archer of Sherwood
Champion of good
Yeoman of the forest
His name is Robin Hood!
Sunset on Nottingham
Light glimmers through the trees
The birds start their singing
All seems well at peace
But in this quaint little town
Evil festers deep
Leaders spin their dire plots
Darkness enshrouds sheriff's keep
Countryfolk kept in fear
Taxes bearing down
Henchmen on the prowl
Deep despair engulfs the town
But a few bowshots away
Sherwood forest looms golden-green
And within it shady glades
Freedom can finally be seen
Outlaw band dwells therein
Merry men one and all
At their head a archer bold
Fearless sounds his horn call!
Archer of Sherwood
Champion of good
Yeoman of the forest
His name is Robin Hood!
December 28, 2011
A contest
In lieu of my Wednesday post, here's a cool contest I was directed to. Soundtracks are the bread and butter of my listening tastes, so I thought it was pretty awesome. Check it out!
December 27, 2011
An Ending
My apologies for the late post, being on vacation in the mountains does not lend itself to being on schedule.
A few days ago I printed out the entirety of what I written in Trust Hole, in the process reminding myself I needed to actually finish it. So that night I sat down to write what I thought would be the last two or three chapters. I finished out the climax, quite to my liking, and starting to write the first few sentences of the ending. But as I did so, I quickly realized finishing the book with a classic ending, i.e. explain how everyone ends up, what happens afterward, etc, was simply not going to work. All that information is nice, but wouldn't help the story in any way. So I simply stopped. The climax was over, the plot resolved, and the problem taken care of. And the ending is much simpler and much more effective that way.
A few days ago I printed out the entirety of what I written in Trust Hole, in the process reminding myself I needed to actually finish it. So that night I sat down to write what I thought would be the last two or three chapters. I finished out the climax, quite to my liking, and starting to write the first few sentences of the ending. But as I did so, I quickly realized finishing the book with a classic ending, i.e. explain how everyone ends up, what happens afterward, etc, was simply not going to work. All that information is nice, but wouldn't help the story in any way. So I simply stopped. The climax was over, the plot resolved, and the problem taken care of. And the ending is much simpler and much more effective that way.
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